Yesterday was a good day. I ran a 5k yesterday and today I felt good for a bit. I was worried about money but I am going to get a payday advance to pay for my bills.
One of my coworkers that was involved just got a new position in the company. It doesn’t seem fair that I’m stuck in this rut because of what happened and he seems to be getting away with being a witness to rape.
I cut myself again today. It helped me relieve some of the tension I was feeling.
I am back to feeling like what happened to me was my fault because I drank too much and dressed like a whore.
My coworkers invited me out for drinks and karaoke but I lied and said that drinking makes me mean. My coworker that sits next to me says that is not what she heard, so that means that someone is talking about it still.
I wonder if he keeps talking like that because he believes the lie or he is doing it to protect his own ass. If people believe that it was my fault that night then it must have been my fault and I was along for it, right?