This applies in the workplace as well. My rapist got away with the crime because I was afraid of being bullied by my peers. I told my boss because it was beginning to affect my work and it seems like I’m the black sheep on the team because she is friends with some of the people that were there and made me sound like I’m just a whore to protect one of their own.
“When someone attempted to rape me my freshman year, I asked my college, Yale University, for help, but instead I was basically advised to keep quiet. I shouldn’t formally report the assault, I was told. Despite my clear and repeated ‘no’, school administrators cast the whole event as a misunderstanding among friends.
In short, I was told to be a good girl. And for four years, I listened.
Women everywhere are used to being told to accommodate those who wrong us. With family, friends, bosses, and partners, we must always be understanding and flexible, ready to dig deep into our well of second chances and generosity. We must never complain or make trouble.
Our devotion to this image of the good girl particularly infects our responses to survivors of sexual violence. As the media coverage of the Steubenville trial showed, those who seek justice are blamed for overreacting…
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